Dwight's story of how his
incarceration negatively impacted Ebony resonated with my experience
as a teacher. One of my best students (a white, female sophomore), came
to class one day looking ill. I thought she might be sick, so I asked
her if she was OK. I can best explain our interaction through
dialogue.
Me: Are you OK?
Her: No, last night my mom got locked
up.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry.
Her: It's not your fault.
I had no idea how to respond. The
topic had never come up in any of the case studies in grad school,
and I was clueless as to how many of my students were separated from
a parent by the prison system. Also, I had no idea about this
student's home-life. Did she have another parent or care-giver at home? Only her mom was listed on the information card I had students fill out at the beginning of the year and since she was well behaved, I (regrettably) had
never called home. I spoke with her counselor who told me that her
mother has been in and out of jail often and that she would probably
be home once she posted bail. The next time I saw the student, she
told me her mom was back. Fortunately, this student was resilient
and the ordeal did not seem to impact her academic work, but it
surely impacted her emotionally.
Resilience was the word I scribbled down as a generative word for the week because it was so apparent throughout the text and your experience is yet another example. Teaching allowed me to experience how resilient kids really are but what Murals as Text prompted me to consider was the resilient spirit in the fathers which I had (sadly) not truly considered until the reading.
ReplyDeleteSeth - it is obvious you have a privileged relationship with this student, for her to share her "secret" with you. By the way, "Me: Are you OK?" Says it all. van Manen calls this the pedagogical look. I.e., its what we teachers do even when we are not even thinking we are doing anything. van Manen also calls this look "being tactful," because in these small small gestures we give back to (re-position) our students a sense wholeness or an in-tact-ness....
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't have known what to say either, Seth. But it sounds like you have built a good relationship with your student, so she knows she can confide it you. Seeing that she is a good student while learning that she has such a turbulent home life speaks volumes about her character and determination. I hope you are able to continue to provide her support so she has another adult to turn to if she needs you. Maybe ask Stacie what else to say in case there's a next time. :)
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